Originally published at: https://apophdolia.com/why-are-people-so-lonely/
In today’s fast-moving world, the layered issue of loneliness has uniquely affected many demographics. Despite technological advancements that promise to keep people connected, it instead has yielded an unrelenting cascade that has essentially supercharged the physical responses and feelings of isolation.
The surge in loneliness can be broken down into the coactions of societal expectations, cultural norms, and personal factors that have become prevalent across groups. These occurrences are influenced by unique challenges and pressures that elevate the sense of isolation which in present day is perceived to be highlighted by men.
The integrity of a man has a manufactured correlation to stoicism, being stoic and unwavering in the face of any form of adversity. Depending on the context, adversity could ideally result in positive growth from reinforcement issued by a natural force, however, within current society’s way of organization it has become lopsided to mostly cause emotional, psychological, and physical harm.
Due to this reinforced stigma, it becomes discouraging to explore support networks, ironically limited because of cultural acceptance indicating that it is also partially fueled by innate programming which sharply displays itself in the family and friendship dynamics involving men being largely oriented toward activities like sports or hobbies rather than focusing on displaying their deep emotional connections in a more concentrated manner.
Therefore, when troublesome scenarios arise the supportive responses lack coherence, especially if plenty of suppressed negative emotions have been compiled and released simultaneously. Historically, physical differences between men and women influenced the division of labor, over the course of time, cultural norms and traditions were developed that formalized these divisions of labor into gender roles.
These roles were anchored down through generations, becoming deeply ingrained in the social structure. When gender-specific tasking aligns with the past, there is an increased likelihood of increased responsibilities that often lean toward the economic side, consequently resulting in a work-centric lifestyle with less time and energy for relationships.
With the rise of remote work and gig economy jobs, there are now fewer opportunities for socialization and workplace camaraderie. Men typically hinge their identities and well-being on work-related tasks because it is a tangible way to measure success and maintain a certain standard of living bearing more importance when in the primary financial provider position.
It is these factors that contribute to the increased struggle of men facing significant life changes such as retirement and divorce in contrast to women who often maintain more diverse and durable social networks that assist with such difficulties and transitions. Women tend to form friendships based on emotional sharing and support providing a buffer against difficulty.
Certain health issues may arise as a result of relationship scarcity more often applicable to men such as substance abuse, and mental health disorders, furthermore, the perception of public networks in terms of variety, placement, and visibility gives the impression of lower levels of social support causing men to feel reluctance in seeking help.
Moreover, there is a growing emphasis on individualism which has mounted itself above fostering communities and collective well-being in favor of chasing personal achievements and independence. Changes in the economy such as the shift from manufacturing and labor-intensive work to service industries have led to greater opportunities for women in the workforce forging an increase or complete modification of gender identities.
Women, by discretion, can include careers, motherhood, and caregiving into routine life potentially creating balancing issues that can become very burdensome as women typically handle a larger end of emotional labor in relationships and in the workplace. The increased pressures of independence also presents itself through social media which also has a bigger influence on women.
Social status and recognition affect both genders particularly because there becomes a blurring of boundaries between personal and professional life increasing the likelihood of experiencing burnout apart from hectic working hours. The constant exposure to curated images, posts, and lifestyles may also cause an over-reliance on putting forth an idealized portrayal of livelihood on social media.
Self-esteem becomes prone to consistent attacks as the need to outperform others for comments and likes can draw in negative feedback, and cyberbullying is boosted by spreading misinformation distorting the context, and leading to increased polarization and potential dissatisfaction.
Online interactions are also much more likely to be superficial and often replace face-to-face communication potentially resulting in confusion and conflicts because of the absence of tonality, physical context, or situational cues. The lack of immediate feedback such as delays in response time makes it difficult to gauge reactions, especially with longer wait times that promote a sense of neglect and frustration.
The physical distance provided by online communication may also bolden individuals to say things they would not ordinarily say in person and also limit the sense of accountability for what and how they communicate. As only a fraction of the internet, digital messaging can easily be rendered low in attentiveness reducing the quality and importance of held interactions.
The permanent record of digital communications allows the retrieval and disbursement of sensitive information that can cause trust issues and long-lasting consequences. There is also an increased risk of data leaks and privacy breaches that make every conversation vulnerable especially towards popularized discussions and people.
These concerns make their way into the physical world imprinting relationships and daily and future interactions that can involve family, friends, acquaintances, romantic partners, and work connections. The lack of in-person contact exchanged for online media can cause a major case of prefacing where expectations become pre-set rather than spoken.
Ironically, this highly reduces individualism and authenticity, and instead inappropriately blends online temperament with real-life circumstances with people often portraying what they see on the internet both verbally and nonverbally. Coordinated behavior that instills clique-like attitudes reducing openness, and always leaving room to be offended.
This way of conduct sinks itself into venues that predominantly include outdoor activities such as nightlife, festivals, and concerts but can make their way into team sports and video gaming. The advancement of large cities makes this a bigger problem by allowing the facilitation of these unsociable acts regularly.
The transient nature of urban life where people routinely move for jobs and other opportunities makes living situations smaller with people frequently living alone. Social calibration has migrated to the internet because of environmental changes accommodated by technology diminishing the development of social etiquette and manners.
Negatively affecting empathy, conversation flow, eye contact, listening skills, and body language interpretation encoding the populous to treat each other with caution. This culmination lowers the initiative and ability of people to evaluate character basing each of their associations on convenience rather than understanding.
Subsequently, it becomes divisive at every level creating problems between genders and even intergenerational conflicts between parents and children. The increase in screen time extends beyond conventional entertainment in the household and into the classroom reducing interactive lessons in addition to automated grading systems elevating scholarly curriculum standards and academic pressure.
The large incorporation of technological devices has also influenced a regulations mindset where everything is guided through rules and instructions that stretch over to hinder children from participating in unstructured free playtime that could offset the over-reliance on digital assistance for problem-solving, conflict resolution, and adaptability.
Unstructured play encourages kids to try new things such as initiating conversations and joining new groups. The reduction or complete lack of this playstyle results in children becoming less autonomous and less willing to take social risks that otherwise would assist in managing the range of emotions that come along with being social.
Scaling down recess periods and unorganized physical interactions and activities will likely reduce the development of well-rounded social skills that become crucial for fostering interpersonal relationships throughout life. Changes in family structures at home with single-parent households, both parents holding careers that often involve traveling or frequent moving, further promote isolation for all parties.
Social ability has become congruent with how well a person conforms to common social displays. Peer influence is at its peak during adolescence when the need for autonomy skyrockets alongside identity formation which can have its rough patches increasing the likelihood of bullying and cyberbullying potentiating the damage because it can occur outside of school.
The transitional period between adolescence and adulthood includes many adjustments such as dealing with evolving friendships as life paths diverge where communication among long-term friends may cease because of new living situations, less free time, and preoccupation with individual life.
Increases in self-identity and discovery can also impact the loss of prior friendships because of mentality changes and redefined standards. Societal pressures to perform economically and settle down with a long-term partner can aggravate these issues proving more difficult to return to the arrangement of childhood and adolescence.
The irreversible transformation of social structures especially in adulthood is the fundamental cause of the widespread sense of loneliness. Relationships are no longer nurtured and developed through the environment as adulthood typically does not have consistent and predictable social settings.
The vast unpredictability and quest for independence where building and maintaining is a top priority likewise applies to friendships and relationships requiring significantly more effort and initiative. Adult friendships often make planning and coordination a necessity with a much higher susceptibility to being unsuccessful because of busy schedules and competing priorities.
The illusion of constant connectivity can distort the impact of prioritizing economic success and upregulating self-reliance, a long-term overemphasis on the self leads to misrecognition depicted by diagnosing yourself as the source of the problem, potentially echoed by the internet, leading to less acknowledgment of the complexities.
Adult life is commonly full of emotional turbulence with fragmented social landscapes that are less forgiving and simplistic awakening a sentiment that longs for the structures that were present in the idealized past of emotional freedom, judgment-free social dynamics, curiosity, and physical vitality all available in childhood.
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